After the indecent images that made people "blush" in the "university village" or the one-swipe to get married through dating apps, many people cannot help but worry about the way students and young people express love.
But that’s not the whole story of Gen Z love. In fact, a completely different dating trend is emerging: a segment of today’s college students are learning to love responsibly and rationally.
For them, love is not a whim but a conscious choice, from where to date to how to build a relationship. They learn to love with "taste" and responsibility.
Young people and the choice of "going on a date"
"Going on a date" is a term that may be unfamiliar to the previous generation, but is a familiar keyword for many modern young people, especially students. Simply put, "date" is a meeting between two people.
Instead of saying "date", "hang out" or "get to know each other", Gen Z chooses "go on a date" to describe a private meeting where two people can spend quality time together to talk, discover commonalities and see if they can go further in a relationship.
Unlike regular meetings with friends, a "date" often has a more special meaning, containing expectations, emotional investment and a certain seriousness.
For many Gen Z students, a date is not simply about meeting someone, but also part of a life experience. The space, the lighting, the music - all are carefully selected.
On weekends, Thu Phuong, a student at the University of Economics in Ho Chi Minh City, often chooses a small coffee shop to meet her lover. Yellow lights, soft music, and a quiet space are the criteria that the female student sets for each date.
Places with quiet spaces are considered ideal places for dating (Photo: NVCC).
Similarly, Nguyen Ha Giang, a student at the University of Social Sciences and Humanities, Vietnam National University, Ho Chi Minh City, also likes to date in a place where she can relax and feel comfortable. She and her boyfriend meet 2-3 times a week, each session lasting several hours. Some days they just go out to eat or take a walk, but there are also times when they both plan their dates together.
For Phuong and Giang, the dating location does not need to be luxurious but must create a unique feeling. Both value comfort and “taste” - a place that helps them connect in the most natural way.
Explaining this, Phuong said that it is not only a place to express love but also a place to breathe, to chat, to slow down after stressful hours of studying and working.
On the other hand, there are couples who want to warm up their love with long trips. Nguyen Thi Thu Thao, a student at the University of Social Sciences and Humanities, Vietnam National University, Ho Chi Minh City, has had many memorable trips with her lover. The most recent memory was a trip to Hanoi, combining attending a wedding with exploring her lover's hometown.
For Thao, traveling is a way to listen and share more. From choosing a location, coordinating outfits to making plans together, both have the opportunity to understand more about each other's personalities, habits and things they have never seen before.
“Going to a new place is not only to have fun, but also to see the other person’s perspective. Also from the times we solved problems together during the trip, we became more mature,” Thao shared.
Thu Thao traveled to Hanoi to both attend a wedding and explore her lover's hometown (Photo: NVCC).
Not all trips are completely private. Thao said that most of the times she goes out, she goes with friends, which helps her parents feel more secure. Her family and her own point of view is: "Going with anyone has risks, so the important thing is to know how to protect yourself."
In particular, “staycation” (vacation at home) is an increasingly popular trend among students. Instead of having to go out constantly or travel far to date, many students choose to rent a homestay (private vacation home) to stay together without being disturbed by anyone. Here, they can cook together, watch movies, read books or simply sit and chat together.
Thu Phuong has experienced this form with her lover, she shared: "The experience is also interesting because we change the space to be together longer. The conversation is also deeper because we have more time."
These types of dating reflect the need for closeness, understanding and companionship of students. However, they themselves admit that they have to be very alert because in such private places, feelings can be “out of sync”.
"Nameless dates"
Le An Hoa, a student at the University of Theatre and Cinema in Ho Chi Minh City, also has a beautiful love story with a friend of the same sex. Hoa and her lover started out in a non-committal relationship. They met when both were too busy, each with their own pressures and not ready for a clear relationship.
However, what makes the difference is honesty and setting a clear time limit for that non-committal period. Relationships also need limits and time limits to protect the feelings of both parties.
And it was that transparency that helped both of them enter an official relationship with trust and respect for each other. That love is not only beautiful because of the differences, but because it is built on clarity and responsibility.
Hoa believes that dates don’t need to be too elaborate, simply going to the supermarket together, cooking, having coffee, taking a walk and taking pictures – that’s enough for a love. But the important thing is that it must be “quality time” for the two of you.
Like Hoa, many students still choose to keep their boundaries from the beginning, because they believe that it is not because they are afraid of making mistakes, but because they want to love the right person, at the right time, and in the right way. For them, keeping boundaries is not suppressing feelings, but choosing awareness to protect each other from unfortunate consequences.
They set clear principles in relationships, whether they are in an official relationship or in the discovery stage, openly sharing their views, expectations, personal limits, what they are ready for or not to avoid misunderstandings.
Setting rules in love does not take away the romance, but on the contrary, helps student love become more mature. That is the way many Gen Z people choose to love in a civilized way, not too hasty, not too easy, but also not constrained by any pattern. Love enough to be sincere, rational enough to not have regrets.
Not every date has a name and not every relationship is defined. Many students choose to start off casually, with no commitment or strings attached.
Talking about these "nameless dates", Ha Giang expressed: "I think there are pros and cons, depending on the purpose of the person choosing this way of love."
She thinks that if they try love, dating without strings attached is to understand each other better, have more time to be close to each other to see if the two are really compatible or not is quite a good thing.
However, from the beginning, you should make it clear to the other person that you want both of you to give each other a chance to get to know each other, to avoid misunderstandings that you are not serious about this relationship, or just "going out for fun", because everyone's time and feelings are precious.
In addition, the female student of the School of Humanities does not agree with the idea of "trial love" in the sense of wanting to play with feelings, not being serious, wanting to love without commitment to simultaneously get to know and go out with other people.
For Ha Giang, once you decide to get to know someone, even if they are not lovers, you should still be serious and not date or go out with other people during that time.
Khanh Ly
Source: https://dantri.com.vn/giao-duc/hen-ho-o-lang-dai-hoc-tu-hanh-vi-thieu-te-nhi-den-xu-huong-yeu-co-gu-20250808082712783.htm
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