It's time to live for yourself!

BPO - I am 45 years old, have been married for over 20 years and have a son. 6 years ago, I discovered my husband was having an affair. At that time, I was completely devastated because my husband was the person I loved very much. But I did not divorce - not because I forgave him, but because my son was only in 9th grade at that time, in puberty, and very sensitive.

I tried to keep my family together, living like a shadow for the past 6 years. Now, my son is a sophomore in college, I feel it is time to end this marriage. I talked frankly with my husband but he did not agree. He said it was a temporary mistake, that he still loved me and wanted to make up for it.

Honestly, I don't have any feelings for him anymore. I feel like I've endured enough. But I'm still scared, scared that my child will be sad, scared that my child will blame me. I'm wondering whether I should continue or let go?

Thanh Ha (Bu Dang)

Dear Ms. Ha!

First of all, I would like to share with you what you have been through. 6 years is a long time and it is really not easy to live in a marriage lacking love and trust, just because you want to keep a complete family for your children. That shows that you are a very brave and self-sacrificing mother.

It is understandable that you are worried about your son. However, your son is now an adult, mature enough to understand and sympathize with his mother's choice. If you continue to live a forced life, you may be hurting yourself and inadvertently causing your son to be affected by a family environment lacking positive emotions.

A real home is not only a place with both parents but also a place with love and respect. If you and your husband cannot reconcile emotionally, continuing just out of responsibility will not bring happiness to anyone, including your son.

It is commendable that your husband wants to make amends. But the most important thing is, do you still have feelings for him? If the answer is “no”, then continuing will only make you more tired and struggling. Therefore, you should be brave enough to make a decision so that you can live for yourself.

You are facing a big crossroads. But this is no longer a story of resignation, but a story of choice. Choosing to live true to your feelings, choosing happiness for the rest of your life. If you are still worried about your child, please talk and share so that your child can understand your feelings and the worries in your heart for so long. I believe that he will understand and sympathize with your feelings.

A mother who knows how to protect herself is also a good role model for her children to follow. Don’t think that letting go is a failure. Letting go can be a new journey to find peace. I wish you strength and clarity on the upcoming journey!

Source: https://baobinhphuoc.com.vn/news/258/174193/da-den-luc-phai-song-cho-rieng-minh