Love transcends distance
“One in Vietnam, one in India, 5 years of long-distance love, 2 marriages and now a small family with children's laughter”, Doan Thi Hong Tham (born in 1995, from Ha Nam , now Ninh Binh province) emotionally tells the love story of crossing 4,000km with her Indian husband - Mr. Ajeet Kumar Verma (born in 1990).
Hong Tham and Ajeet couple
In 2015, when she was a second-year university student, Tham joined an English learning channel. Coincidentally, Ajeet also improved his English speaking skills on it, so the two got to know each other.
In the online class, Ajeet was the English teacher, while Tham and many others were the students. They attended 2-3 classes a week. After a few months, everyone gradually left the class, leaving only Tham and Ajeet studying together.
In April 2016, on Ajeet's birthday, Tham made a video congratulating him . To Tham, it was just a simple video, but to Ajeet it was a gift that made his heart "skip a beat". Ajeet cleverly proposed to Tham right after that.
“At first, I ignored it. Later, when we texted each other more, I opened up.
When I was a student, I lived with my sister so I was closely monitored. When I met Ajeet, I had to face difficulties because I had to have a long-distance relationship and hide it from my family. As for Ajeet, because he studied far away from home, his family did not know about it either,” Tham said.
The two of them continued their secret love life. The distance of 4,000km sometimes made Tham doubt their love. It was not until Ajeet was willing to drop out of the civil service exam and change to another field to make it easier to travel between Vietnam and India that she truly trusted him.
“He spent 2 years pursuing this exam. His parents also invested a lot, so when they found out he dropped out, they were very angry. His perseverance made our relationship go a long way,” Tham said.
In 2017, Ajeet went to Vietnam to meet his girlfriend for the first time. His parents strongly opposed this decision, but he remained steadfast in his convictions.
“I hid from my family and went to the airport to pick him up. Seeing the person I had been talking to for the past two years made me believe even more that our feelings were real. He said, ‘The first hug gave me goosebumps because it was the first time I hugged a girl,’” Tham recalled with a smile.
In 2018, Ajeet went to Vietnam for the second time. He followed Tham home to meet his family and was opposed by the whole family. Tham's sisters used a voice translation app, the two were only allowed to be friends but not to date. Ajeet sat there crying because of disappointment.
Tham was warmly welcomed by her in-laws on their first meeting.
But he did not give up. Since that introduction, he has visited Vietnam twice a year to visit Tham and her family. His perseverance softened Tham's family and they supported the couple's relationship on the condition that he had to move to Vietnam to live.
“When his family knew that I had a stable job and was suitable for him, they supported me. In May 2022, I first met his parents, which was also the time I went to India to get married.
His family welcomed me warmly. His mother and sister bought me three sets of traditional Indian women's clothes. They didn't let me do anything, the only thing I had to do was write the wedding invitations," Tham said.
"Every day together is a new day"
At her wedding in India, Tham had control over everything, from choosing invitations, wedding decorations to choosing flowers. She felt respected by her husband's family.
Hong Tham and her husband had their faces smeared with turmeric during the Haldi ceremony.
The wedding was held for 3 days, the first day was the Haldi ceremony, the bride and groom were smeared with turmeric on their faces as a blessing by the guests. The second day, the wedding was held at the hotel, everyone danced from the night before until dawn the next day. The third day, the bride and groom received wedding gifts from relatives and returned the favor with beautiful cloths.
“The ceremony that surprised me the most and that I liked the most was the Mehndi painting on the bride. In the evening, while everyone was dancing, the bride would have intricate but attractively symmetrical patterns painted on her hands and feet.
The painter cleverly wrote the groom's name hidden in those patterns and in the game, he was forced to find his own name or else he would be punished.
Bride gets Mehndi painted on her wedding day
The wedding in Vietnam was held 4 months later, with 12 people from the groom's family attending. Everyone was surprised that the wedding in Vietnam happened so quickly and instead of the bride bringing a dowry, the groom's family would have to pay the bride price.
“However, neither family paid much attention to this,” Tham said.
The couple currently lives in Hanoi , Ajeet works in the IT industry, while Tham has temporarily quit her job and is a housewife. Having lived in India for a short time, Tham has not encountered many difficulties with cultural differences.
“My husband’s family all speak English, so there is no difficulty in communication. Every 2 or 3 days, my husband’s parents video call to talk to their children and grandchildren, so even though they are far away, the family bond is still strong.
My in-laws are modern and respect all their children's decisions. Their progressive thinking makes me admire them," Tham shared.
Tham's wedding in Vietnam was held happily and completely.
About her Indian husband, Tham can only say “wonderful”. He is intelligent, calm, and always puts family first. He has told his wife many times: “As long as my wife and children can live a full life, nothing is too difficult for me”.
“I have four sisters. My father passed away when I was in college, so my mother lived alone. From the time we fell in love until we got married, he always took care of my mother and even said he would bring her to live with him to take care of her.
My husband's concern for my mother makes me feel like I chose the right person," Tham shared.
For Tham, the best thing about being an Indian wife and daughter-in-law is being exposed to two cultures. Every day is new to Tham, just like her personality of loving new things and hating stereotypes.
“I know this journey has just begun, there are still many things to experience and I am ready to welcome them with excitement,” Tham shared with a smile.
Source: https://vietnamnet.vn/chang-trai-bo-giac-mo-cong-chuc-bay-4-000km-cuoi-co-gai-ninh-binh-quen-qua-mang-2424249.html
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